| First Year in Retrospect by Sophia Van Der Harst, Class of 2007 I have been in touch with anthroposophy intermittently for twenty-five years and it has been sort of a love/hate relationship. I have known, and still know many great anthroposophists, both here and in my native country, Holland. However, in the last ten years, while running my children's center, I have met quite a few parents who have taken on the Waldorf philosophy with an apparent lack of first-hand knowledge of anthroposophy. The results have been that some parents develop a personal, often illogical, and potentially developmentally damaging, interpretation of Waldorf methods. When my husband moved out in the summer of 2004, I was ready for a major change. Despite my misgivings, I decided to join Dorit's teacher training at the Marin Waldorf School. It felt as if I was stepping into the lion's den with dogmatic interpretations lurking in many dark corners. Determined to do the training regardless of the dangers, I tiptoed in on opening night ready to do battle with the dogma. Usually the Spirit confirms my major life-choices, and so it did during the opening weekend. Three "coincidental" events happened, the most striking one being that my favorite verse, the famous poem from William Blake's Auguries of Innocence, was blaring from the blackboard in the sixth grade classroom where we were to have our first lesson. At least I knew I was doing the right thing, and, thanks to Susan Goldstein's loving, living, and artistic teaching, I felt comfortable within a few weeks. None of the truly spiritual concepts of anthroposophy introduced by her were ever forced onto us, instead we were always told to "just sit with it." This pattern recurred throughout the year with all the teachers. Some of the ideas presented were so outlandish, so magical and mythical, that I could almost hear the whole class gasp and suppress a giggle, but we quickly got used to these ideas since no one asked us to believe them unless we wanted to. In addition, all teachers regularly mentioned different ways of pursuing a personal path of growth towards happiness and spiritual fulfillment through anthroposophy, but always without putting any emphasis on it. In January, during Valentin Wember's teaching of The Philosophy of Freedom, when I could hear both the students' and Valentin's brains crunching on the difficult material, I noticed the fog hanging over my own brain. This awareness woke me up to the recurring advice. I took it to heart, cleaned up my personal act, read the book Guidance in Esoteric Training, and started a regular meditation practice. It became clear that we are fortunate to have our teachers; each one is the kind of person I aspire to be one day. Our year culminated in "summer camp" in Santa Cruz. Our class, well-bonded by then, spent after-school time hiking, swimming, and going to the beach. During the day we were all exhilarated by our great teachers, who inspired us to go far beyond anything we thought we could do. Many of us are rather new at the arts, and all of us were completely amazed and encouraged by what came out of our hands and hearts, whether it was in sculpting, eurythmy, or storytelling. And, although we are considered some of the worst recorder players ever, we were given enough self esteem, thanks to our teacher, Harry Kretz, to play some pieces for the final assembly. For me, this past year wasn't just a transformation; it has become a metamorphosis. I have been so inspired that by now I have read twenty-one books by Dr. Steiner. My thinking has become clearer and more focused; I start my days with meditation and lyre practice, and although I never thought I would be able to give up my children's center, I now find myself eager to teach first grade in the fall of 2007, wherever in the world that may be. Now, in the fall of 2005, I look forward to two more years of incredible personal and professional growth at the Bay Area Center for Waldorf Teacher Training, and a lifetime of improving my thinking, feeling, and willing skills. |
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