Summer Session Satire, by Clint Marsh, Class of 2008

Monday through Friday, just before eight
Cars come careening up Empire Grade.
They slip past state troopers and park in the lot
From the cars emerge students-some striving, some not.
Come hell or high water, snow, rain, or heat
We get there in time to catch the downbeat
Of Herr Steiner's poem, for if we delay
The devil and Dorit, we'll both have to pay.

Joanne strikes a chord and we all find our place
Be it soprano, alto, tenor or bass
Or a mixture of all of them, we hardly can tell
But if we listen closely, the sound starts to gel.
In blessings and alphabets we search for our voice
Joanne smiles and directs us, making music from noise.
With a twinkle in her eye, she sculpts the class mood.
We know we've done well when she shouts "very good!"

In our next class, with Rudolf, we learn of the mystery
In paintings and pyramids and the rest of art history
We ponder the meaning of head, hands, and heart
As we view photographs of the cathedral of Chartres.
He gives us a riddle he'll answer much later:
"How is a pharaoh like a first grader?"
Our heads overflow with thoughts on Greek culture
Until Rudolf announces, "time for sculpture."
We roll up our sleeves and grab gobs of clay
Our work reveals our thoughts and feelings each day.
Rudolf instructs and then lets us go
Until our sculptures exhibit flow.
Our minds turn off, our hands work faster
Until Rudolf informs us, "Double Disaster."
Is it art or is it not?
It's too late now-off to snack we trot.

We form a quick circle, sing grace and squeeze hands.
This custom is practiced in all Waldorf lands.
After announcements, we pounce on the table
Eat fresh fruits and veggies, perhaps one more bagel,
Talk with our colleagues, stand, slurp, and chew,
Make a quick phone call, and when we are through,
We find a nice spot, set down our school bags,
And engage in reflection and soft crying jags.

Next we meet Harry, sprightly and tall
A wizard of music, he seems to know all.
A lover of laughter, corny jokes, and bad puns,
He keeps a straight face as he conducts "Hot Cross Buns."
Harry guides us through menuets, adagios, rounds,
Helping us keep time and avoid awful sounds.
Thanks to his efforts we no longer squeak.
Recorder instruction is not for the meek!

Time for lunch! Be it brown bag or biodynamic.
That looks delicious. Can I try some? Is it organic?
We sit and take sustenance, perhaps shoot the breeze
Or attend a class meeting beneath the plum trees.
If we're not feeling social we walk in the woods
And exchange juicy gossip with the tree roots.
After an hour we're lost in reverie,
But we eventually snap out of it in time to meet Coralee.

Off to the Eurythmy room, and once we enter
Coralee guides us to our calm center.
Copper rods and beanbags fly from our grasp
Shoot out the window and land in the grass.
We want to dissolve, sink into the floor
As Coralee utters her seventh, "Once more!"
She smiles as we stumble, gives comments correctional
Until we are blessed with one word: "Exceptional!"

Crayons and fairy tales color our minds
As we learn to invent and recite morning rhymes.
Susan teaches us English and how it is relevant
To each year of our children's earthly development.
She imparts to us teaching methods exquisite...
But what's this? Here comes Dorit—it's a surprise visit!
"Relax just enough," says Dorit, "Then down you must buckle."
As she shoots us a sidelong glance and grim chuckle.
We all smile and thank her, resolve to be good
Then we race out the door for some final free food.

Tea is served, along with crackers, salsa, and chips
It goes in our mouths and moves straight to our hips.
The food gives us the strength to revise evening plans
We can't go to the beach—— we can hardly stand!
The day's songs and sculptures, movements and poems
Bounce around in our minds as we drive to our homes.

Family and friends ask us, "How was your day?"
We pause for ten minutes, unable to say.
How can we explain what's in our hearts, limbs, and heads?
"Ask me tomorrow," we plead, as we crawl into bed.
Our astral selves leave us, perhaps go out drinking
While the rest of our bodies take time off from thinking.
As we sleep we gain wisdom, the day's lessons sink in
And that's why, when we wake up, we do it all again.