Slaying the Dragon of My Practicum, by Gifford Teeple, Class of 2007


It was thanks to a lively group of fourth-graders that I came to discover that dragons are real, and that they exist most tangibly in one's inner life.

During the final week of my practicum, I taught three main lessons. Not having much experience, I was a little nervous. At times the children got noisy and started acting up. I made some efforts to quiet them, but I wasn't entirely successful.

At the end of the second day, class teacher Linda Lich said to me, "You need to have a stronger ego presence in the classroom. Be consistent, and do what you say you're going to do."

She was right, and her accuracy stung. But what cut even more was that I felt this lack of ego presence was my greatest weakness, and I had always been afraid, not to mention, ashamed of it. The dragon of fear and loathing was rearing its ugly head, and my impulse was to run and hide. I wrestled with this for the rest of the day and into the night. How could I teach? "I'm just not that kind of person," I told myself. But I knew that if I ran, I would only have to confront it somewhere else.

How could I muster the strength required? Ms. Lich had twenty-odd years of teaching under her belt; I had a grand total of six days. Should I visualize myself barking orders at the class; or see them reduced to fit in the palm of my hand? No. I knew that somehow I had to pull together the will force required and just do it.

The next day I went in determined to take control of the class. I made some mistakes, but I did stay on top of the class' behavior. I insisted on quiet when I said quiet, and was consistent in taking the names of those who disobeyed. Alas, Ms. Lich wasn't there to observe my Michaelic efforts that day, but I knew I had slain the dragon of my inner fear, and that felt like a genuine accomplishment. I'm sure there will be other dragons to slay, but it felt like the biggest one had gone down before the sword of will and courage, at long last. Plus, I got "gold stars" when two of the students complimented me on my stories.
Will I go on to become a class teacher? That is still to be determined. For now, it's enough to take it one dragon at a time.